Mirror, Mirror on the Lead

Reflections on the mirroring that occurs between us and our dogs

Mirror, mirror on the lead; Reflections on the mirroring that occurs between us and our dogs

Have you ever noticed how your dog seems to 'just know' when you’re having a tough day?

Or when you are alerted to the sight of another dog on a walk, they go onto full alert too..

It’s not your imagination. Our dogs are emotional mirrors. Sensitive, attuned, and often absorbing what we carry, even when we’re not fully aware of it ourselves.

When I first read about mirroring, I felt incredibly guilty, and I immediately blamed myself for my dog's reactivity, but this isn’t about blame, it’s about awareness.

I know how hard it can be. So many of us are juggling real life, multiple commitments, fatigue, stress, or worry. And on top of that, we’re trying to support a dog who struggles with reactivity.

But what if your dog isn’t just reacting…

What if they’re reflecting?

Reflecting the anxiety we carry in our chests.

Reflecting the protective energy we hold in our bodies

Reflecting the tension we didn't even realise was building in our jaw, shoulders, or breath.

Here’s something gentle to try:

🌿 Before your next walk, pause and take 3 slow, conscious breaths.

💧Rub a drop of diluted frankincense or neroli essential oil between your hands. Let the scent ground you. Let your nervous system exhale.

Say quietly: “We’re safe. We’ve got this.”

These small rituals shift your energy and your dog feels that shift.

Reactivity isn't bad behaviour, it's a conversation

Reactivity is loud, scary, embarrassing, and overwhelming. But, the truth is: Reactivity is a conversation, and our energy is a part of that dialogue.

Our dogs, just like us are saying they don't feel safe. And, as sensitive, emotional beings ourselves, we often have our own inner reactions before we even register our dog’s.

Our heart races.
Our chest tightens.
Our brain jumps to 'Oh no, here we go again…'

Without meaning to, we join the conversation in fear, not calm.

But here’s the beauty in that awareness: We can change our response. We can choose to listen instead of react. Start by softening your perspective: Instead of saying 'my dog’s being reactive again', try…

'My dog’s trying to tell me something'

This reframing brings curiosity. Compassion. Space to pause instead of panic.

Essential oil support for emotional spaciousness:

Benzoin - Grounding and strengthening to ease overthinking and worry
Clary Sage – for clarity when emotions feel foggy
Cedarwood – stabilising, for holding you steady and safe when the world feels big
Ylang Ylang – to soothe the inner drama, ground the heart and help self-confidence

Inhale and let the oils shift your state. Feel into your body before responding to your dog’s.

You’re not alone on this journey. Your dog isn’t broken and neither are you. This isn’t about fixing. It’s about listening.
And often, the most healing thing we can offer is simply this:
'I hear you, I’ve got you'

Ask yourself:
'What might my dog need right now'?
'And what do I need, in this moment, to respond with presence'?

Together, you’re learning to navigate the world, as a team.

Together you're learning each other’s language. That’s not failure, it’s partnership in progress. Keep going.